The pool of close friends turned into a sea of empty faces
But the only one that seems to be suffering is you
As you watch a stream of smiley faces from a screen secretly wishing you were still in the picture
You were never their favorite though; they never loved you more than they loved each other
After a faint pathetic hallucination, you remember that you left the situation for a good reason
But if you’re an empty shell and they are empty shells, then why not be empty shells together?
Oh, oh no, you thought you were different from those empty shells
You acted as if you knew right from wrong but if all of you were wrong then what was ever right?
“Stand your ground, even if you’re standing alone”
But why should anyone have to stand alone?
Isn’t it a human desire to want to belong?
Who says we are supposed to be alone?
Trying to decide who is friend or foe
Ultimately locking everyone out because they don’t seem to fit
In the puzzle that we created but can’t figure out where the pieces belong
The worst time to stand alone is when you’re standing your ground
That’s when you’re exposing your most vulnerable intimate parts in hopes of inviting others to join
You in the fight, I mean your quest for righteousness
But you’re still left alone,
Casted off into the shadows because you’ve exposed the truth
They never loved you
Hell they didn’t even like you for all you know
They were just faking the funk to get what they want
But then again, you always knew in the wilderness of your mind
That you stood alone, you slept alone, you ate alone, you laughed alone
But you were never really alone, because even when you were alone
You still had your friend, Loneliness
It kept you company throughout the years
Appearing and disappearing at the right times
It kept hurting until you went numb from the pain and over time
The lies got easier
The rejection got easier
The disappointment got easier
Breathing got easier
Like cutting your wrist in the same place again and again,
You eventually severed the nerves that sent pain signals to your brain
So, your brain doesn’t respond any more to your actions of self -destruction
You keep cutting because you don’t feel it
Your brain doesn’t tells you that you are in agonizing pain
Though you can see the blood as it gushes down your arm
You continue to hack away at your wrist
Slashing through the muscle as if it were a thin sheet of paper
You keep cutting with the thought that
“Maybe if I cut deep enough then I’ll be able to feel again”
But you’re just left staring at your bone
You’re yelling and screaming for help every chance you get
Asking strangers to see you in your pain that you drown out years ago
Anger buckles in for the ride as it grows stronger with each failed attempt for rescue
You don’t know how much more of this internal battle you can endure
With anger, denial and hopelessness teaming up and taking turns on you
One slices off your humanity, one burns your heart to ashes
And the other holds your head under water drowning out your calls for help
Every day they grow stronger and treat you like the puny new kid in class
Finally you lash out and plan to tell on the bullies
But you can’t rat yourself out
So you suffer in search of the Calvary to take you to refuge
You feel as if you’re dying each day but the truth is you died a long time ago
With the first cut to your ego, to your heart, to your dreams, to your soul
Thus, you will continue to greet everyone with a warm smile, an united front, and a friendly fuzzy “hello”
You just continue breathing
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The cage is open
The chains have been broken
The debt has been cleared
The window has disappeared
And the cool, sweet mist of
Freedom has crept into the atmosphere
Freedom be here, now, and forever
I hear your call through the graves of those
That fought in your honor
I hear you when I’m asleep
I hear you when I’m awake
Your voice sounds like the thunder of serenity, bliss, and peace
It flows from one ear to the next
Using my brain as a playground of opportunity
To feel free like you, like me, like he, like she
Free like where our progress strives to be
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Further and further she slips away from this so called reality into the mist
Not believing in you or me
A voice telling her that this is not her world and that she should set herself free
But if she does…
what will be left of her?
What about the others who can’t take that journey to freedom with her?
But then again, is it really worth drifting endlessly as an empty vessel here?
Not having emotions, just going through the motions of living
When does it all add up?
She would have given the keys to her soul away years ago
To take the void, pain, and emptiness away
However, she stays here searching for something real
So far removed from reality it feels as though she’s never awake
In an endless sleep walk through the smog of truth, justice and liberty
Because you have to wake up before you die in a dream right?
If she’s already dead in her dream then she can never wake up
She’ll remain young, beautiful and miserable forever in isolation with her story untold.
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I stare into his eyes and I see a future
As we lie there caressing sacred parts
That should not be exposed until made man and woman
But it feels as though we are man and woman
As we embrace each other’s chocolate souls
And yet we giggle like a girl and a boy
We guard ourselves and play games like a girl and a boy
In order to protect our fragile fragmented hearts
But still long to make the connection that will make us real man and woman
Our immature minds make us less likely to compromise
Only real man and woman understand the sacrifices and trade-offs
That must occur in order to increase productivity in their union
As boy and girl we nip and pick at each other’s flaws instead of taking on
The role of man and woman and accepting each other; good, bad or indifferent
Until we can put aside our selfish intentions and think about what is best
For the whole, then we will remain just a girl and a boy and never reach
Their full potential to be man and woman