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free - Breathing
Poems

Breathing

It kept hurting until you went numb from the pain and over time

The lies got easier

The rejection got easier

The disappointment got easier

Breathing got easier

Like cutting your wrist in the same place again and again,

You eventually severed the nerves that sent pain signals to your brain

So, your brain doesn’t respond any more to your actions of self -destruction

Untitled design 1 - Breathing
Photo by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

 

You keep cutting because you don’t feel it

Your brain doesn’t tells you that you are in agonizing pain

Though you can see the blood as it gushes down your arm

You continue to hack away at your wrist

 

Slashing through the muscle as if it were a thin sheet of paper

You keep cutting with the thought that

“Maybe if I cut deep enough then I’ll be able to feel again”

But you’re just left staring at your bone

 

You’re yelling and screaming for help every chance you get

Asking strangers to see you in your pain that you drown out years ago

Anger buckles in for the ride as it grows stronger with each failed attempt for rescue

You don’t know how much more of this internal battle you can endure

 

tolu bamwo 2 nappy 5310 - Breathing
Photo by @photosbyphab on nappy.co

 

With anger, denial and hopelessness teaming up and taking turns on you

One slices off your humanity, one burns your heart to ashes

And the other holds your head under water drowning out your calls for help

Every day they grow stronger and treat you like the puny new kid in class

Finally you lash out and plan to tell on the bullies

 

But you can’t rat yourself out

So you suffer in search of the Calvary to take you to refuge

You feel as if you’re dying each day but the truth is you died a long time ago

With the first cut to your ego, to your heart, to your dreams, to your soul

Thus, you will continue to greet everyone with a warm smile, an united front, and a friendly fuzzy “hello”

You just continue breathing

Shaundajay

Read. Laugh. Share. Enjoy!

 

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